Can I clap my hands? Should I clap my hands?
– Yup. And now begin? I’m scared. Okay, I just need to do it. Ah, weird…
Okay, I’m just gonna do it. I think… I think… No… I think… if I try to go way back… it once just happened on accident. On accident? Yeah, I don’t know.
That you just suddenly have that feeling like: ‘Huh?’ How old were you? Middle school, definitely. Early years, I guess. I’m guessing.. Thirteen? Twelve? I don’t know. I was something like twelve or thirteen as well. You look embarrassed!? Yes! Because I’ve never talked about this before. But I do remember doing that on the weirdest places! Yes? What is the weirdest one? In the living room, for instance.
– Really? And then I just layed there with a blanket covering me. But in public? Yes! No! Not during dinner or anything, right? No, but then you just… Yeah, but then I didn’t…
I didn’t know that… That that’s something you keep for yourself? Yes. I know I didn’t use my fingers.
– What then? I guess I just humped a pillow, or a stuffed animal.
– Really? And thinking like: ‘Huh?’
– Oh, no. I didn’t have that. At the beginning… did you also not come the first few times, and thought you’d come but actually you hadn’t? No, I did… Did you have an orgasm right away? Yes.
– Oh. Oh, that’s embarrassing!
– I didn’t come the first few times, I didn’t… Oh, that’s embarrasing! It’s the first time I’m talking about this,
and it’s really awkward, but it’s very funny. Do you ever talk about it with your friends?
– No. Really?
– Yeah. Just zero?
– Yes. And you wouldn’t want that? I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it,
because, I just don’t talk about it. But you do admit you do it? Apollonia. Well, perhaps. Oh, oh! Do you remember… when you were thirteen… I don’t know how old you were when you started masturbating. I really don’t know.
– No, it’s such a long time ago! I was eight or something! But didn’t you always have this feeling you were committing a sin? As if I did something very bad,
that’s what I felt in that time. No, but I think I was quite early,
and I think I always thought like: ‘Jesus, I should do this in only a couple of years.’ Yeah?
– Like: ‘I’m such a dirty seventh grader.’ But also on vacation… while my little sister was in the room. Yes, I’ve done that too. I just waited untill I was
entirely sure that person was asleep. And that you just went like… And hearing something and thinking like: I’m not doing anything! At first I always thought I couldn’t do that,
like I was committing a sin. Yeah, I also… I think because of that…
I thought it was very scary. Always feeling guilty.
‘What am I doing?’ This isn’t right. I shouldn’t do this.’
– Yes, exactly! It varies so much, how often I do it. It’s quite hard for me to give some sort of average. Okay, in a week.
– In a week? On average? Yes.
– I’d say once a week. Really?
– Yes. Sometimes I don’t do it for weeks and sometimes on a daily
basis, that’s why I’d say once a week. Really? I think that’s really not often. Yeah, I really need to make time for that. I can’t just… Oh, no. But first we need to rationalize that. Once, does that mean coming once? Yes. I think I’d say something around twenty times a week. Twenty?
– Yes. Twenty?
– Yes, I really think so. So you come and then you just do it again?
– Yes. But at least everyday, before going to sleep.
– Really? Oh, wow. Oh, wow, I don’t. But I don’t know, I don’t really…
– Is that a lot? I don’t know, what’s a lot? For me it is, but you think I never do it. Well, maybe a little less. Some weeks I do it almost everyday, and some weeks… once a week I guess. Oh no, I won’t even make that. Really?
– Yes. That’s a possibility, of course. Or maybe I’m very odd. Well, yeah. That’s possible. Yeah, I don’t know. Because, I don’t know, girls really have to… think of it themselves to start doing it, you know. Yes, so? But I have, no, I don’t know.. Oh, then I must be a real bore. No, no, or I must be very easy. Very wild. No, not wild, it’s not like I watch this hardcore, pump it up, – we’re gonna rip up
your vagina – kind of porn. No, of course not. Okay, what’s your favourite finger? That one?
– Yeah Really?
– This one, yes! Really?
– This one, yes! Fuck you!
Fuck me! For real?
– Yes! But how do you finger yourself? Do you… do you… Because I only stimulate my clitoris, to be honest. Yes.
– Really? Your middle finger? Yeah, in general, but sometimes you also need to give the rest some attention too, or if you want to prolong it some extra. Really? With your middle finger? Yes, with my middle finger. Do you never put it in or… or… This is so awkward!
Oh, boy. Sometimes I do put it in but to enhance the… fantasy.
– Fantasy! Yeah, that’s also because anyhow I don’t find it that exciting… that hole. No, me neither.
– No, me neither. But… But I think we’re the only ones by the way, everybody else is going crazy over it, I believe. I don’t know, but a guy never had me… You told me that maybe you just use you fantasy, but what do you fantasize about? Apollonia. Not people I know, I think that’s so awkward. I can’t do that. I thought it was really awkward. Just celebs. That’s just easy if someone’s out of your league. I do think about people I know, actually. I rarely think of made up people. Sometimes they are, but then I’ve made up an entire background story. An emotional connection. But who do you fantasize about? Who do exist?
– Yes. Yeah… Yeah… People. But what I do, when I have a crush on someone I imagine them doing it to me. Yes exactly! But not like: ‘Ooh, now I’m gonna fantasize about this.’ ‘And now I’m carressed there and there.’ ‘And then I do this, and now I want you to…’
– No Have you ever fantasized about teachers? Yes.
– Yes, me too. But do you always fantasize about someone? No, not always, because sometimes I’m just horny and I just want to get it over with. nyone, doesn’t matter who. Doesn’t matter! As long as it happens. Yes, me too. Or imagine never having had anal sex,
– Yes. I remember when I’d never had anal sex, I fantasized about it a lot! Yes, same. ‘How’s it gonna be? I want him to do that! What is he gonna do?’ Oh, that’s exactly what I did. I also thought it was super exciting to think about, really, it was my number one thought. But when it’d finally happened, after that… I didn’t think it was an exciting thought at all!
– Oh. Then it’s…
– Oh, then it’s happened! I couldn’t…
– Oh, you couldn’t make it up anymore! Yeah, same for me. I don’t know why, but if I did watch porn, I wouldn’t watch the romantic kind. Do you get that?
– Yeah, I get that. So, if I would… but, I don’t really fantasize… But I can imagine that you’d fantasize about stuff you wouldn’t really want to do, which isn’t necessarily on your bucket list, or anything, but that it is exciting to think about. Do you watch porn? Yes, but occassionally, because what I like best at the moment is reading fiction. That’s what I always did!
– Really? I know no one who reads fiction as Yes, that’s what I started with. I started by reading stories, untill I realized, but that’s because I wondered: ‘Would there also be images?’
So I searched for it… and I found porn. Do you watch porn?
– Occassionally Oh, I don’t. Very ocassionally. No, never done it.
– But only when it needs to be done fast. I tried it once, and then… no, I hadn’t even put on a video, I’d gone onto the website, and I thought like: ‘Oh my God, what am I doing?’ All those dirty pictures, you know. and I thought: ‘No!’
– No! That’s the same as me feeling… stereotyped as dirty perverted girl because I watch porn from time to time. No
– You get that? But that’s because no one dares to admit it, I think. Or I am a dirty perverted girl.
– Or you are a dirty perverted girl. When you look at it that way, it’s unattractive, but if you let yourself go I think it can be a real turn on. If you’ve found something good…
– Yes. But it’s such a big step, you know, it’s quite hard. But I think I wanna try it again, I wanna learn it. Learn it.
– I’m gonna learn to watch porn! That’s the reason why I always feel like I’m committing a big sin. Yeah, I get that. Because everybody’s like: ‘That’s super filthy. Blah, blah, blah.’ But there’s also very normal… Yes, but I understand that. Yes. Do you get that?
– Yes, I get that. But then I can imagine… I’m gonna watch it tonight! My girlfriends, they say: ‘Yes, I’ve bought a new vibrator.’
– Yes? Yes, they’re awesome. Awesomely insane. So they’re like: ‘You need to try it to I’ve got one friend who always says: ‘You need to try it too, I think it’d be very good for you, with all those joint aches. I think it’d be very relaxing.’ The other day I saw a vibrator on sale at the drugstore, and I almost wanted to buy it, but then I chickened out. Why?
– I don’t know. And the lady’d asked me three times already if she could help me with anything, but I didn’t dare to. ‘Yeah, I was looking for a…’
– ‘I was looking for a vibrator.’ Sometimes you’re in such a mood of just doing it. But does it make it extra easy? Well, I just think it’s more of a hustle. A vibrator is more of a hustle?
– Yes, it’s a lot of a hustle, and… I don’t know. That’s something I like better when you’re together with someone. Oh, so together you…
– Yes. And, have you listened to her No, I didn’t buy a vibrator. I don’t own one. Are you planning on buying one? Perhaps. So, are you gonna buy one?
– Yes, I’m gonna buy one. What? You can stop filming now.