What my trip to Japan was like


In October I went on the first vacation I’ve been on with my family in… years. My dad works super hard all the time, so normally it would be either my brother, mom, and me… Or just me and my mom. And even those vacations became pretty sparse. It’s been over 10 years since we’ve all had a family vacation, and, all of a sudden, we have a week to be squished together in a foreign country. So how’d this one go? ehhhhhhhhHhHHHHH Ḩ̶̫͍̤̼͉̪̦̗̉̽̃͊̉̎̊̆͗H̶͚̫͖̺̣̥͈͌͐̌͝ͅH̴̛͖̠͓̮̺̩̘̣̠͖͌̑̿͆̈H̵͇̪̘͙̲̼̺̯̙̯̾̇H̴̦̐̎H̵͇̹́̆̓͌̏̊H̴̡̻͈̿́̇̀͑̓͒͝Ḥ̸̨̧̧̭̈͌̿̇̑̍̈́̈́͝ Day 1! We arrived at the Tokyo Airport after a nice and easy… eleven hour flight, and got off the plane like: “Wow, I can’t believe we finally made it!” “We’ve been planning and looking forward to this trip for almost a year…” “And it’s finally happening…” “How do we get outta here?” We walked around the airport for 2 hours trying to figure out what we had to do, which train we had to get. We lost dad for like half an hour in the sea of Asians. I’d already expected the worst and thought he was dead. But no worries, turns out he wasn’t taken out by the Japanese mafia! My mom had to get train tickets, and he had to take care of the luggage So we split up and planned to meet at a ticket counter, but, little did we know, there were two of them on opposite ends of the floor, and, as the stereotype goes, they looked exactly the same. So my parents were just grumbling and waiting for each other to show up at the opposite ticket stand with no method of communication because we didn’t have wifi yet. After figuring that out and getting to the Tokyo station, we had to use the subway to get to our hotel. None of us grew up in the city, and using the subway was new to us, so we had to look at the train station map to see what to do, and… Is this the Windows 98 pipe screen saver?! What is this?! Props to people who use the metro daily or even know how to figure that stuff out, because that’s Bill Gates secret code, and the consequence of making a mistake is paying to be plopped in an area you never wanted to be at in the first place. We didn’t even know how to start reading the map, so my dad resorted to the only logical option… “Do you speak English???” Do YOU speak English?” “Konnichiwa!” (こんにちは) “uhuhHh…” “Please…eh… help us.” “Obviously I don’t speak English, you stupid foreigners. Get lost.” A good 90% of the time, we were lost and not knowing where to go, so my dad would keep walking up to random Japanese people and try to communicate with them in English even though we were in a country that… doesn’t speak English, (NANI!!) and when they obviously wouldn’t understand, he would just try to say it all again. …BUT SLOWER… Like that was gonna make a difference. But we found a guy named Paul who helped us out. Thank you Paul. Konichiwa! Japan is super different from the States. I didn’t really know what to expect, but my mom and I were super hyped after seeing and learning about the culture. Dad and Jax… not so much… But they liked the food. SO HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED!! First morning! Woke up early to do a Tokyo bus tour. This time, after our best friend Paul taught us the ropes, we were experts at navigating the subway. We got on the wrong train. We stopped at a cafe for breakfast and it was at that point where I realized I wasn’t going to be able to use the image translation app I downloaded to try and make communication easier while we were there. It would’ve been super awesome to just hover the camera over the Japanese symbols and have the phone immediately be like: “Hey, this is what this says!” But it wasn’t working the way I thought it would. I don’t speak Japanese but I’m pretty sure they weren’t selling a ‘surprised egg topped was the first time the first time in fabric’ *this wife* I don’t think that’s a thing. Who married an egg and why is she so surprised?! The tour was fun! We went to a forest with some shrines, saw some sumo wrestlers, went up the Tokyo Tower… Pretty cool Asian stuff. Second day! We walked on Japan’s big famous cross walk that looks like the Bee Movie’s traffic system. Pressed ‘F’ for the dog that waited nine years for his dead owner to return from the train station. I love you Hachikō. *kiss* Went to a hedgehog cafe. *mumbles* Got on the wrong train… MEGADONKI! Spent way too much money at the Pokémon Center. Won nothing at a big arcade. And then collapsed into bed. Heh… I should probably slow things down a bit so you can really take in — DAY WHATEVER! WRONG TRAIN! RICE TRIANGLES! TINY BANANA SNACK! (My brother said it tasted weird.) Walking tour! OH GOD MY LEGS HURT! More noodles! Went to sleep. We had another bus tour around Kyoto and one of the stops was this ‘thouand golden statues’ temple that was really cool and we learned about a bunch of Gods. One of which I, a Pokémon master, already recognized since it was the inspiration behind Thundurus. *horrifying flute remake of the Pokémon theme song plays* Another one of the stops on the bus tour was this temple called Kiyomizu-dera and there’s a whole backstory to this place where some people would do this thing called: ‘taking the plunge,’ which was seen as a bold and desperate extreme wish-making act. So it’s simple. What you do is… jump off the 43 foot (13 meter) temple balcony and… not die. That’s literally it. I’m not joking. In the Edo Period people believed that if they put their lives in the hands of Kanon, the god of mercy, you’d be granted a wish. Given you don’t die… because he can’t give wishes to corpses. During that time 200 people jumped and 85% of them survived, which I’d say actually is a pretty good ratio. One woman apparently even jumped twice. “Hey, m-my didn’t come true.” (in Japanese accent) “Well, I guess I jump again!” Well they don’t let you do that anymore, which I think is fair, I guess. Anyway, that wasn’t even where I was going with that place. There’s this little shrine area at the foot of the temple with three waterfalls, each representing either longer life, wisdom or love. And if you drink from one of them, it’s believed that you’d be granted that particular category in life. But you only get one drink. *low mumble* Thirsty hoe So I go up there with my long, cup-on-a-stick you get, and was watching what everyone else was doing. They would get the water in the cup, wash one hand at a time, then pour some water into one hand to drink from, and let the rest drip into the pool below. ANYWAY, cutting to the chase, basically you’re in the presence of some intense wisdom right now. Also, there wasn’t anywhere to dry your hands afterward, so I got wisdom water all over my pants. After that, we saw the Ten Thousand Red Gates. You’re allowed to walk under them, but apparently it takes like three hours to get to through them all, and we didn’t have that time, so we walked under like 10 and called it a day. After waking up with some French toast that was lightly dusted with a pound of sugar, My mom and I went to the Studio Ghibli Museum. I can’t express how incredible that place was. I would recommend it to anyone who has an appreciation for Ghibli, or animation, or art, or anything. I’d show you how mesmerizing it is in there, but there’s no filming or photos allowed inside, so no spoilers here! I’m a child of the law. …But I did snag this photo of the kid’s play area, because I though it was adorable, and sometimes you got to break the rules when it’s important, okay? We went to a conveyor belt sushi place, and mom had never been to one before, so she got overwhelmed and just immediately grabbed like five random things. I’ve been to one once before, but my skills aren’t anywhere near coordinated. So when I tried to put the wasabi bowl back, I ended up clogging a bunch of plates, and ruining a section of the sushi harmony. And just being really obnoxious. …and I felt really bad… The next day we ALMOST got on the wrong train. Heh heh, the wisdom juice is kicking in. We went to this famous Sega arcade with eight floors. That was immensely intimidating. You know how you go to an arcade and there’s always some Asian kid who’s an absolute god at a game. And there’s a little crowd watching because it’s so mesmerizing and we’re all pathetic. This is their hive, this is the enlightenment mountain they climb for eighty years and consume nothing but tears of tigers. Car racing, combat games. Even the children were getting spit out the womb playing like monks. Look at this guy. I don’t know what game this is, or the objective here, but the aura around him is screaming: “Leave here, and never come back, unworthy rat!” We were also introduced to this dance game I’ve never seen before called ‘Dance Rush Stardom’. It’s like DDR but less arrows and a 100% more late 90’s Melbourne shuffling. My brother and I tried to play it, and it felt like the whole country was like: “Oh God, why are they here? “They look Asian but they’re white as crackers.” But we got a good kick out of it so, you know, don’t ‘konnichiwa’ yourself. Then we left and got on the wrong train. For the last night, we went to this robot show. And let me tell you, this place is insane. So the main attractions of the place are these giant, flashy robots and stuff. But I got to talk about these drinks in light bulbs they were selling. They were crazy, with all their blinking colors and such. It was like a little rave in a cup! Like dude, who comes up with this stuff? Benjamin Franklin WISHES he did, I’ll tell you that. You got to choose from like, four drink choices, but most of them were alcohol so I got this peach juice instead. I’m legally allowed to drink now, but I’m not the biggest fan, and who knows how outrageous the drink would’ve looked if I was a bit tipsy. Anyway, definitely one of the most insane things I saw there for sure. Top of the list of the entire show. Nothing compared to the little light bulb. Japan was so much fun, and it’s become one of my favorite memories with my family. But the thing is, when I started this script, I wanted to briefly mention what we did so I could talk about how much trouble I had getting back home. Because that was a whole situation of classic Jaiden I thought you’d enjoy. But here I am on page four of the script, and I haven’t been able to talk about ANYTHING! I don’t like breaking stories into different parts, but we’re not animating a twenty minute video. I’d rather put my hands in the life of Kanon. Twice. So yeah, see you in a few weeks with that. Hey! Thanks for watching. So a bunch has happened since the last video. *laughs* Youtube Rewind was posted, so that’s cool… …and I was in it! So that’s cool too. And then it became the most disliked video on Youtube right now. Very cool. I threw in a bunch of memes in my part because I speculated Youtube wasn’t going to do it themselves. And, not to throw shade, but I was right. And people have been enjoying them. A lot. Like, my God it blew up. People found the majority of them, but I’d thought I’d tell you the real answers. So everyone got the ‘Sub to Pewdiepie’ thing, and the Smash Letter, and the Logan KSI fight. But I also had a book that said ‘Sociopaths 101’ on it that was too small for people to see. This little bonsai tree was a little tribute to the famous forest in Japan at the beginning of the year that *someone* did an oopsie in. And next to it is a little squirrel because shout out to my buddy iDubbbz for his squirrel series this year. *breathes in* I just liked it a lot. Everyone thought this was a reference to Felix’s ‘Bitch Lasagna’, but what I made it was the ‘Somebody toucha my spaghet’ meme because that, and Ugandan Knuckles were the January memes of 2018. But it can be Bitch Lasagna too, I don’t care. Things have been crazy because of Rewind, so thanks for enjoying my part. I wasn’t expecting this response, at all. *laughs* I was just messing around and stuff, but hey, I’m not complaining. This whole ride has been super fun to be apart of, you guys are hilarious and the memes from this have made me laugh so much, and I feel overly appreciated. That’s all for now, thanks for watching, thanks for the memes. In a year we get to see if I’m not allowed in Rewind again because of this. And, if so, it was worth it.

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