Tulip tourism: An American and an Australian visit Keukenhof

Keukenhof! Just checking out the
information here, it opens at 8:00 a.m. so yeah I’m planning to go
tomorrow morning, don’t know what time it’s going to be cold but at least it
will be sunny. it’s getting back down to the ones two-three degrees Celsius
again this week so it’s not the best time to visit the tulips but it will bebeautiful So it’s a little botanical garden down in
South Holland. It is about 30 minutes bus ride away and it’s supposed to be
incredibly beautiful interestingly the name translates
directly from dutch to Kitchen Garden. that is because it used to be a garden for the local countess Nick: You’re late you *quack*
Ash: Yeah! Google said I could get here in 11 minutes so I think if it’s anyone’s fault it’s Google’s. Nick: I think Google’s innocent in this Alright, we got this. Nick: Why do they need three people there? I just don’t understand this entire
horse-*quack* operation I feel like we’re being [unintelligible] about all this There’s straight-up empty seats. Literally everything in my life is going perfectly The boy’s hung over. I’m not even hung over. That is rude! So I’ve an exciting fact. Ugh. What? It’s exciting but we have to wait. Have you prepared any tulip facts by the way? No, I didn’t prepare any tulip facts. You wanna start? You wanna kick this off
with a tulip fact? This is less of a tulip fact and more of a slow bus fact. Gee this bus should hurry up. Just up here. Paard! Horse? Here we go. Little canal. See the canal? This is the border between North and South Holland. Is that true?
That’s true! And that’s the fact. Thought it was a good one. Still not a tulip fact. Here we are the world famous gardens.
Manicured landscape awaits us Swathes of tourists also. At least it’s not cold. It’s like, 6 degrees. It’s freezing, mate. Isn’t that worth it? Yeeeeeaaaaahhh. So in a labyrinth you follow the left-hand wall and eventually you end up at the end So you admit that this entire thing was built for torture? Well this is really-
I can’t hold this map. It’s stuck here. Ashley. This is not cool. Nick: Oh my god it’s so cold. I hate ducks Looks pretty smug, doesn’t he? I hate statues. This is pretty good. You gonna go on the danger pads? I hate water. Eeee! Give you ten euros if you jump in. Shove it up your *quack* Give you twenty euros if you jump in. *exasperated sigh* Would you give me 20 euros to fall in?
Because that could well happen I’ll give you twenty euros if you do, yeah. That’ll be worth it. I mean it’s not a freezing cold feels like zero degrees celsius day for nothing. Okay let’s get outta here.
Nick: Give you sixty euros to fall in. Okay, safety. *quaaack* Well. It’s fun. I like it. It’s a garden. It is a thirty euro and a half hour bus trip garden? Nick: Yes.
Ash: 100%. Nick hates it. I don’t, it’s not true, Camera, I love it. This is a fine institution, I’m happy to be here with
all the other people. Just walking a nice leisurely stroll through the garden. Good, well, how far through are we? We’re almost done, Ashley. Oh. Noooooo! There’s plenty more! Surely. Here. We must be here. Oh no, we’re not even halfway through
this is horrible news. Oh, this sucks. Keep left, and eventually you’ll get to the end. Good rule in life. Yeah, not that left. Or that one. Take a left. You know, that’s actually good advice for in mazes and labyrinths Oh look, Ashley. What a lovely stroll through the garden Nick: This is just like my worst nightmare. Ash: this is fine
Nick: I actually need you to understand this is my least favourite thing on earth. Average age here: 75. Average walking speed: turtle. It’s an amusement park for flowers. Tulip fields. Nick: Sorry I’m being so dramatic Ashley. Are you gonna go over the walky? Let’s go over the walky! *splish splosh* *laughs* no, I’m not doing that Ashley, come over here! Nick: Oh, it’s gonna break! oh, you’re wet. Oh! oh you’re soaked bud. oh those socks are gross now, buddy! you’re halfway there, keep going This is stupid No it’s not stupid Ashley, it’s a bridge. Oh, I hate this One of the greatest inventions our people
have ever made Ashley Ash: squealing
Nick: this, and the wheelchair. Nope, hate that. Not a fan. Do not like. Easy!
Woman: Easy! Well I think I’ve used up my whingeing
like a *quack* for one day Your what? Huh. Nick: oh, that guy just got soaked That was amazing. I read the Wikipedia page before I came here so I had sort of tempered expectations and it’s it’s met those. How did you fare, Nick? I really enjoyed myself here I love flowers
I love people, I love the great gardens I believe it was not 30 seconds ago he said this is the kind of thing he would find in his
mum’s backyard my mother is a wonderful and very talented, talented woman. She is capable of doing a lot of things that I guess I just take for granted Oh the gift shop, now we’re in the gift shop. We are in the gift shop, I think we should turn around. Although do you want any gifts? No! We’re outta here. It was a fun day. A great day Now we’re onto McDonald’s. Maybe some FEBO. Milkshake here, ice cream there. I think it’s time to queue up the nugget montage Giant chicken nugget. The mayo’s good too.

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