Ricky Gervais Rips on Annoying Travelers and Why Death Is Like Stupidity


-I always love having you
on the show. And I know that you flew
all the way from London to come here to do our show.
-Yeah. -So I do appreciate that. Do you — Do you mind
traveling like that? Is that — -Well, honestly,
I shouldn’t complain. It doesn’t get any better. I go first class.
But, yeah, it’s lovely. And yet there’s always someone
that can still annoy me. There’s always — It doesn’t
matter where you are, honestly. It’s like — Right. So, last time — Flying back
last time I did this show, I got on a plane,
we’re on the runway, right? Again, first class. Lovely. There was a guy
just there next to me. And he was yawning like this… [ Yawning loudly ] So, I looked at him, right?
Like that. And then he did it again. [ Yawning loudly ] So I checked that he didn’t have
anything wrong with him, right? Like, that would have been
embarrassing, like, you know? And then — People are
looking around, as well. And I was going
like that, right? And then —
And he was about sort of 55. And then about the 15th time
he went… [ Yawning loudly ]
…I went, “Excuse me, mate. Can you do it without
the noise at the end?” -You really said that to him?
=Yeah, and he went, “Oh, sorry.” And then I thought, “Oh, I got
7 hours next to him now.” Right, okay, so,
I was in a restaurant, right? And it was
a lovely restaurant, right? It was nice and quiet. I eat about 6:00 p.m.,
so it’s nice and quiet. And the waiter came over, and every time, he sort of
walked back and forth. He just went — [ Snorts ] [ Laughter ] And I was going —
And Jane was going… So I was going, “Ugh!”
Every time he did it. [ Snorts ] Ugh! Like that. There was woman on the plane
that annoyed me because she was
too tired, right? She was sort of young, right? And she got up
and went to the toilet. She walked past me.
And she was sort of doing that. She was too tired, like that.
I wanted to go… “[Bleep] open your eyes.
What are you doing?” [ Laughter ] -“You’re a grown woman.
Come on.” Is your whole family funny? Is everybody funny
in the family? -I think so.
I remember growing up, it was, like, the first thing
that I — You know, everyone had a laugh.
My older brother, Bob. It was — I think he was my first
experience of people saying and doing what they
wanted it to be funny. And he sort of got away with it
somehow. And we had a real great — I talk about him in
my old stand-up, “Humanity.” He’s about 11 years older
than me. And he once spent an hour
in the 99-cent store just asking the cashier
how much everything was, right? Until this poor guy
was having a breakdown. He was having a breakdown. At my — my dad’s funeral,
we were all outside. No, it’s funny stuff, right? We were outside
in the graveyard. And I think Bob was having
a cigarette, right. And our Uncle Mick came along. And we hadn’t seen Uncle Mick
for like about 20 years, right? The last time we saw him, he was
about 50, and now he’s about 70. And he hadn’t aged well. Right?
So, he walks up, right? And this old man,
he went, “Hello, boys.” And Bob sort of looked at him
and recognized him and sort of went, “Jesus.”
Like that, right? And then Bob looked around
the graveyard and said, “Is there any point
in you going home?” [ Laughter ] -That’s a good joke.
-Yeah, I know. -That’s a good joke.
-But Bob would say anything. We had a simple rule. “If you think of something
funny, you’ve got to say it.” He — Right. You’ll probably
have to bleep this. So, we’re all
in the car once, right. Bob was driving,
and we just got a random sort of stop,
like a security check, right? And the copper sort of
looked in the window, said, “Where are you off to?”
And we said, “Bognor.” And he went, “Will you
just open the trunk, please?” And he looked in the trunk. And then he came up
to Bob’s window again. And he had one of those sort of
mirrors with a stick on it, just looking under the car
like that. And as he did that,
his helmet fell off. And out of the helmet
fell like 20 cigarettes. And the copper just went, “Oh.” Just being nice,
he just said to Bob, “I bet you always wondered
what we kept under our helmets.” And Bob went, “I knew
it wasn’t [bleep] brains.” [ Laughter ] Why did he say —
Why did he say that? -To a cop.
-Why did he say it? -Oh, my gosh.
He just had to say it. -He just had to say it, yeah. -You look good.
-[ Laughs ] -I mean, every time we come on,
we — No, you do. No, every time you come on.
-You got to say that. -No, I don’t have to say it
because I wouldn’t — -I’m wearing black.
It’s slimming. It can’t work miracles, but — I’m a year closer to death
than last time I saw you. That’s it.
-Come on. -Every time I see you, I’m
slightly closer to death, right? One day, you’re going to ask me
how I am, and I’m literally just going to
be dead in the chair, right? -No, come on.
-I don’t worry about it anyway. I don’t care.
-You don’t? -No, I don’t worry
about being dead. You don’t know about it. That’s
the best thing about being dead. You don’t know about it. It’s like being stupid.
It’s only painful for others. So I don’t care. I don’t care.
I don’t — I don’t care.

100 thoughts on “Ricky Gervais Rips on Annoying Travelers and Why Death Is Like Stupidity

  1. I know exactly what’s going to happen when I die. I’ve been under general anesthesia seven times. That’s what it’s like.

  2. I like how Jimmy doesn't do the fake laughing so much here. You can tell when he's acting like he thinks some schmuck celebrity is being funny, he goes over the top with the damn laughing. But here he seems genuinely amused. Pleasantly surprised.

  3. I'm starting to get fed up of chat show hosts telling Ricky 'you look good' now. I know what Ricky is going to say in response, word for word.

  4. the joke about uncle not bothering to go home was hilarious and yet half the audience go 'awww' like it's too far. come on America, stop being so soft and get a dark sense of humour

  5. Ricky is such a massive sell out. He's practically turned his back on the British comedy awards circuit, you couldn't pay him to attend because he genuinely believes he's better. He spends more time schmoozing to America now. He's so far removed from the person we all loved here in the UK after the office was a hit. He was the funniest thing at awards ceremonies but as I said he wouldn't attend them now. his ego has gotten the better of him.

  6. Jimmy Fallon is so fucking annoying, stop laughing so fakely – when you laugh in exactly the same way at absolutely everything it takes away any credit from a funny joke

  7. Quite embarrassing, really, that Gervais is allowed to just casually hijack his show through some of the most unimaginative questions (the family one is just serving Ricky for a volley, everybody should be aware of Bob by now) and then, once Fallon realizes it, he tries to claim the show back by reverting to his one favourite… um, statement… which you should never deliver at the tail end of a fucking interview, but luckily, Ricky being Ricky, he takes no prisoners in pointing out his idiocy. And so Fallon finally caves in (again), and just starts slamming his hands into the table while faking a hysteric laugh in his signature way. Such an incredibly weak host, Fallon is.

  8. I love everything Ricky has ever done yet Jimmy still manages to find him more funny than anyone who has ever lived and is so hilarious that he needs to slap his desk. Amazing.

  9. 3:53 "why did he say it" "TO A COP"— everyone is trained to be afraid of cops and that cops are above the law apparently, how demented and sad, and thus cops act like power-hungry sacks of shit so often…

  10. How does fallon still have a tv show??

    minutes of fake annoying laughter finally die down…. 'well You look great'
    Ricky 'pffffft, are you a spastic?'

    He can't even get standard interview segways and social cues right. Isn't that the one thing you're supposed to be as a talk show host???

  11. Hahahahaha that annoyed look on rickys face at the end when Jimmy " claps like retarded seal at anything remotly funny" Fallon is tapping the table

  12. I thought the thumb nail meant pikeys so I clicked. Sorry I meant travellers that’s more politically correct

  13. set up dialogues bother me so much after seeing true dialogue like in ricky gervais' show, with craig ferguson etc. The opening was just let's have a bit about your plane travels, he set it up for gervais and gervais started doing his bit.

  14. Ricky is quality man, the brother Bob stories are mint. His net worth is apparently $110,000,000 if i was worth that i wouldn't give a fuck either. Good luck to him.

  15. well quite likely incorrect.. unless the death is accidental. Research shows that when you are dying, a part of your brain activates related to memories so the dying person remembers the most important moments of his/her life. Its probably Ricky who is more stupid in this case. Also it's painful for others if you are someone cherished.

  16. All that annoys Gervais & the fake laughter & body language of Jimmy Fallon doesn’t even slightly irritate him? This whole thing is fake bullshit.

  17. In this 2008 clip https://youtu.be/5hyXIzbJ9Zg at 6:45 Ricky uses his same brother Bob cigarette joke, but he changes the people who were in the car. Is the joke even real then? I’m waiting for a response Ricky.

  18. Is Jimmy Fallon finding it hard to find guests? I love Ricky but he didn't seem to have anything to promote and the conversation at the beginning implied he just got on a plane for this show (which, yeah, could have been an exaggeration).

  19. The joke about the police officer is old and probably fake, as the last time he told the joke it was different : His brother was doing some plastering work at the Buckingham Palace, and the thing with the hat and the cigarette's had happened and his brother had to wait until the guard shift was due, because the guard who let Bob in, promised he will stripsearch the car on the way out.
    Funny joke, no argument, but stop trying to be commercial Ricky. You are hilarious, just the way you are.

  20. I know what he means I was looking around on YouTube once and I came across this guy being interviewed and all he did was moan. I mean he has had one or two vaguely funny series and one or two mildly funny stand up routines but this guy has got everything anyone could ask for in life and he still seems miserable.. oh wait he's fat and pig ugly that could be it.

  21. Ever notice how jimmy cracks up and suddenly stop…..it clear show he’s faking…..you can’t control your laugh so well

  22. I know exactly what Ricky's talking about! Most people do the most annoying fucking things ever! From burping out loud and tapping, to chewing with their mouths open and yelling at their kids from across the store – people are so gross and annoying; and they're oblivious to it! They don't even have the awareness enough to realize it and stop; but I suppose some people think they live in a vacuum void of others. It pisses me off. You're not the only ones that live in this world people. Mind your fucking manners!

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