Overly Excited Tourist Is Looking For Love In Portland

– Shake it if ya got it, baby! I’m in Poor Man’s Origin, the strip club capital of the… capital. Let’s go see if we can
kiss a stripper’s bumhole, and have a good time. Ew, nasty! This hotel kind of stinks. Porkloin, Oregano is known for
being a pretty chill place, that’s got- OH GOD! Oh big bad Danosaur gave me a nasty spook! I’m already sad just thinkin’
about leaving Porston but, I don’t want to bwell on it. Nyaaaaa ha ha, nyaaaa ha ha, Porcelain Origin, you’re cool as crack! Are you joking my ass?
look at this hot dog flippin’ the danger digit! Whoa baby boy, look at this sexy babe! Goddammit, now I’m horny as a hornet! (electro funk) Look at this nasty boy
just out goin’ for a walk. Hiiiiii honeeeey! Get inside my ass and watch your step ’cause there’s poopies,
look at these flying horses. They say they’re a hundred feet big, and they learned how to
fly from Tony Robbins! They said Ry Guy, if
you’re gonna go to Pornegon you gotta go to a strip club, and I was like, oh. I told my friends I was coming to Porkland and they was like, “Well you otter.” And they were like, “Have fun, deer.” And they were like, “I can’t
bear to see you leave.” And they were like, “Ducks!” (electro funk) Wooooo hooo hooo! Careful honeeeey! Just a bunch of kids
trying to kill themselves. You gotta be joking my ass, even Shrek likes to have
some of the jitter juice. Well I’m fuckin’ trying! Ew, look at this nasty hiccupatamus! They say it’s a hundred feet big, and it hasn’t caught up
on Game of Thrones yet, so shush shush shush shush shush! Get out of my ass, look at this manument. It must be-
it’s like er… it’s pretty cool. Holy Snopes, the Pentagon! Hey Dan Trump, why don’t you go, why don’t you just, why don’t you maybe, why don’t you go to kick rocks! You’re a mean one, Mr. Grimps. (laughs) It’s just a
tree, we really gotta go! Mother’s milk, what a day
I’ve had here at Porktown. I never did kiss a stripper’s tooter but oh, Wells Fargo, I think it still was the
best day of my whole life! (electro funk)

81 thoughts on “Overly Excited Tourist Is Looking For Love In Portland

  1. Aw, ya missed Couch Street (pronounced cooch) and the Chicken and Guns and Kim Jong Grilling food carts, which I think you would've had a blast with. Just a native's opinion! If you're still here, seriously. Kim Jong Grilling. Best Korean cart in town imo.

  2. Ryan… forget love. Let me be your travel agent and/or travel companion. Baby… you and them dangasaurs are the greatest!

  3. Holy snopes! Funny shit! Always. Huge fan, watched them all. This one was shaky AF. Different camera? Not usually this wobbly…

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