Overly Excited Tourist Gets Outta Control In Chicago


– Thanks Obama! I’m in Chicarlo, Little Boys. The Windy City. Let’s go get some of the deep dash pizza, and have a good time. (whimsical music) Look at all these nasty legs,
I feel like a young boy. Ma? Ma? Something around here stinks nasty bad. Oh it’s just Soldier Field,
home of the Chicago Bears. Toly Crobus, Lake Michigan is big. They say it’s a hundred
feet moist, and sometimes you just gotta admit when
something’s an ocean. Holy snopes, holy snopes, holy snopes, Chicagosaurus Reps! Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby
boy, the Willis Tower, tallest tower in the United America. They say it’s a hundred feet big, and it don’t know what you talkin’ bout. Well get outta there,
you’re gonna get all wet ya dumb bitch. Sneaky goose. Hi honeys, honk honk. Are you joking my ass,
they got an Old Faithful. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s
not named after my ex-wife. Holy snopes, they got a
giant Benjamin Franklin. I have a dream. Look both ways before crossing
into my ass, there it is. The cashew! They say it’s a hundred feet big, and it’s so shiny ’cause
it’s going through pooberty. Hi honey. Chicagoners sure love their Chicago Bears. Take a look at how many bears
they have guarding the city. (deep electronic music) Eh, I’m not having that
much fun here in Chitapo. Saic! Get out of my perfect shaved ass, Dan Trump you are everywhere. Except the White House. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dab on ’em, chief. Chicano is known as the Second City, because of a fire
that-shut up, no I’m not! Oprah’s book club, what a day
I’ve had here in Shishkabob. Now it’s time to kick
back with some deep dash you can only get in Sicario. I think it even was the
best day of my whole life. (deep electronic music)

74 thoughts on “Overly Excited Tourist Gets Outta Control In Chicago

  1. "Sometimes you just have to admit when somethings an ocean" Gettin a tattoo of that quote!also, buy this shirt https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07625NC6V

  2. You managed to make it to my town without stopping at Wrigley?? You basically walked Mag Mile. Also, we still call it the Sears Tower, "honeeeeyyy"…

  3. Ryan we need to get cha' to New England before the snow season
    Followed by the mud season
    You still delight Mama! Grazie

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