“Indian Tech Support” | Russell Peters – Almost Famous


Anything Indian people can do I can’t do I’m always impressed whenever you do something intelligent like computers. I’m shit on a computer I’m not good… Are you good on a computer, Edward? You’re Chinese, you better be going computer you You f*cking making them all day the least you could do is be good on them. I mean Well you work with a computer for a living yeah, so yeah What do you prefer a PC or a Mac? I prefer PC. PC, right. That’s how you know you’re good on a computer. People don’t believe me when I say I’m not good on a computer. Like, “You’re an Indian.” “Supposed to be good on the computer.” An Indian guy going he’s not good on a computer is like a black guy going, “I ain’t got no rhythm.” PC. That’s that’s that’s the show-off. You know that’s a “Ya, I know how to get on a computer and avoid diseases.” I use a Mac because Mac’s are stupid people friendly. I am a stupid people. The real reason I use the Mac is because I go to a lot of questionable websites Look, what I’m trying to tell you is If you’re going to surf porn on a mac. Surfing porn on a mac is like having sex with a condom on. You know, you’re like, “I don’t care what she has.” “Hehehehehehehehe” “I’m not gonna get anything.” Surfing porn on a PC is like raw doggin a hooker, you know? “Oh my god, it feels good but I’m scared.” “I’m so scared.” “Oh my god it burns when I download.” You know the worst day in my life is the worst day in My life is when I have a problem with my laptop and I have to call the 1-800 number on the back of it I don’t care that. They’ve outsourced the call to India that actually makes me happy Part that bothers means that that guy in India knows who I am I call up. I’m like ”Yeah I have a problem my laptop.” “Okay sir. and your good name?” I’m like ”I’m sorry?” “Your good name.” My good name? What is that, my password? You want my password? “No No, sir. Your good name. Your good name.” “F*ck, the f*ck is my good name?” “Sir, your surname, your family name.” Oh, so why don’t you say so? Uh, Peters. “Okay. And your *jibberish*” What’s that? “Your *jibberish*” I… I don’t have a forest name, no. Enchanted? I suppose if I was in the forest my name would be lost. What are you asking me right now? “No no, sir. Your first name…your first name.” What the f*ck is my *jibberish* What is that? Slow it down buddy. “Okay sir, your fir… ” That’s the same f*cking thing. “Sir the name you use on a daily basis.” Oh. haha, Sorry, man. Russell. “Okay. Haaa!” “No Wayyyyyyyyyyy.” “Is it really you?” I’m all proud. I’m like, yes yes, it is. He goes: “Well well well…” “…all those jokes you made, huh?” “Now who needs help, huh?” “Okay, bastard. Here’s what we’re going to do.” “I am going to mirror your computer.” You’re going to what? “Mirror your computer.” You’re going to mirror my computer? What does that mean? I’m going to gain full access to your laptop… remotely.” Oh really, and how do you think that and then I just see the mouse moving around on my screen? I’m like what the hell happened. He goes. I have gained full access to your laptop “Let’s quickly go through your history.” You know what let’s not go through my history, how about that? “Well well well… Lusty Grandmas.” It was a pop-up. “I’m sure it popped up just fine, huh?” “‘Seems to pop up 3-4 times a day!”

100 thoughts on ““Indian Tech Support” | Russell Peters – Almost Famous

  1. Computers are from the USA first..thats why you have problems you didnt know that once you realize then your computer will serve you well.

  2. There is no way that guy in India said "well,well,well", I can guarantee he said "vell, vell. vell". There is nothing more confusing to an Indian than the letter "W"…..

  3. This guy is the king of comedy. Especially when he makes fun for f my fathers language the Arabic language. I really enjoy him

  4. Believe I worked for a tech process and Americans are so funny ..they are super dumb .and don't wanna use their brain ..this is my experience…I am an Indian but I have put on North American acccent

  5. Peter from India..nicest guy in the world….worked at the Santa Rosa Valero gas station until he won the lottery a few weeks ago….last I heard he has a nineteen year old American girlfriend….true story

  6. On a conference call, a co-worker kept asking about "daily variables" … after numerous times asking about "daily variables" with no answer, she made a note on her screen (that she was sharing) … "deliverables" … the modules in the program we were talking about.

  7. 鉈戈鉈戈挽 鉈鉈拈 鉈鉒鉈桌挪鉈鉒鉈 鉈鉈鉈賴鉒鉈鉈鉒鉈鉈菽 鉈桌鉈鉈賴悖鉈擒恕鉒 鉈芹鉈鉒鉈鉈啤鉈鉈賴鉒 鉈桌挽鉈桌….鉈兒 鉈鉈耜鉒鉈鉒鉈能挽…!!!

  8. I love him . I just had a customer from India he was so funny and cool guy. But still I love Indian accent it's funny and cool .

  9. I saw an Indian man in a Subway once with full Indian head dress and he was on the phone with tech support and I can hear the tech guy speaking perfect American but the Indian guy couldn't understand him. I laughed and thought karma bitch. Lol

  10. you should review this before posting it to your family and friends…it is not about the indian guy helping with computer issues…ot is about watching porn on a macintosh.

  11. Holy f- tard I was on customer support for cablevision and got outsourced to freakin India they put me threw hell just to reboot my password for my computer all I can say is I threw my phone across the room because I was so frustrated and confused on top of there accent Im from the 綾 why why why must these customer support be outsourced by the end of it all you want to go on a rampage somewhere freakin A

  12. now im gonna go check out lusty grandmas on my unprotected android thank you very much, this.is.even crazier than rawdog a hooker

  13. Asking an Indian guy if he is good at computers it is like asking a black guy if he is good at rhythms?
    What the f !?#!ck!
    If a caucasian stand-up comedian was ushering these same words on stage he would be virtually
    pilloried on every medias for the rest of his career but a Canadian-born citizen raised Catholic that
    'looks' Indian' makes lazy 'jokes' by stereotyping Indian and 'Black'(whatever it means) cultures is
    acclaimed, because his ethnical background is "dad was from Bombay" ?
    Russell Peters you should stick to what you know as a Canadian instead of polluting shamelessly
    the world with your ignorance masquerading as humour.
    You are a token talentless 'artist' who has found his audience among all the xenophobic and self-hatred
    minorities who can't find any grace in their own heritage and are too cowardly to embrace who they are
    and where they come from.

  14. Thats exactly what Indians do when you dont understand what they say, they just keep saying the same thing in exact same way and hoping you may figure it out eventually.

  15. Indian accent is of like…The same no. of types as the no. of languages…He is using the "Generic-what-white-people-think-Indian-accent-is"

  16. Indians good for shaking their heads the way they talk.. broke job market rate because they accept cheap salary very cheap salary MBA Dictorate phd

  17. Donald trump wants to paint the white house.. He calls for quotation.. Chinese guy quoted 3 million. European guy quoted 7 million..
    Indian guy quoted 10 million..
    Trump asked chinese guy.."..how did u quote 3 million..?" Chinese guy replied .. "1 million for paint 1 million for labour 1 million profit.." Trump asked european guy.. He replied-".. 3 million for paint 2 million for labour 2 million profit.."
    Trump asked Indian guy.. He replied.. .."..4 million for you.. 3 million for me.. .. .. and we will give 3 million to the chinese guy and ask him to paint..!!"
    Indian got the contract !

  18. I worked in a London hotel with a girl called Bianca. We had to call tech support and of course we were directed to a call centre in India. When the IT guy asked for her name she said Bianca. And he said oh Prianka! 不不 and shes like no its Bianca!

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