Dear Traveler | Writing Diaries #1- Doubts


Dear traveler,
I’ve heard it said writing is a lonely task. The first time I heard it, I let it roll over me, decided it was
melodrama, and let it go. I didn’t believe in the image of the writer
toiling by themselves on some work of great genius. I still don’t. Writing can be salt of the earth or a community act or something else I’m sure
I’m not thinking of right now. I try not to romanticize it in any case. Still as I sit down every day and try to write, I’m beginning to understand the loneliness
they were talking about. It is the kind of loneliness that comes when you’re in an empty room facing all the possibilities of a blank page. Writing invites introspection, and even as it reflects something true, it can distort it, and
with that distortion comes the doubts. When you first start a story, they’re at
the fringes, nipping at the edges of the page. But eventually, they spill over and
soon after that the doubts are flooding everything that you’re thinking,
everything that you’re writing, like shadow until you cannot look at the page
without seeing the worst parts of yourself reflected back. When the doubts
come I can’t always turn to my friends, the writing community, or my family. Sometimes I have to keep wrestling with them myself. I need to keep coming back
to the page until they recede. And then sometimes just coming back isn’t enough. So, when I’ve pushed myself as far as I can, all that is left to do is remind
myself why I wonder ,why I write. For me the best place to do that, outside of a book, is in nature. There is nothing that restores me more than lacing up my boots and walking into the woods. There I can tune out all the sounds of the city around me, the crowd of doubts in my head, and just imagine all the places a path can lead. I can look at the tops of the trees and pretend like I don’t know where the next step will take me. It’s the place I feel freest to imagine. It doesn’t take much, just a small dose. What I’m really doing is reminding myself
that I don’t need to think about who will see it, and when, and how they will
react, and whether it’s any good. I just need to imagine, turn on the light, and write.

3 thoughts on “Dear Traveler | Writing Diaries #1- Doubts

  1. LEAHHH this was absolutely beautiful I’m 1000% sure I’m gonna rewatch this for that calming energy and motivation 💜💜

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