Adoption Journey – Domestic Adoption Vs International Adoption

100 thoughts on “Adoption Journey – Domestic Adoption Vs International Adoption

  1. I’m a foster parent and we’ve had our little guy just over a year, termination has begun but bios are planning to surrender. He had a huge list of “issues” when we got the call (including deafness, blindness, eating disabilities and development delays) and prior to that phone call, I would’ve looked at that list and said no, it’s too much for us. Took the call and blurted out YES! Here is the PRAISE GOD moment- he is 100% healthy. NO delays or health issues at all. Every one of his needs were a result of neglect and emotional detachment. He just needed a family to love him relentlessly and within a couple months, all effects of his trauma were gone.

    Of course you need to go whatever direction is best for your family, but I wanted to encourage you with a positive foster-to-adopt story. 🙂

  2. Myka, you should reach out to The Cooper Fam on youtube. They have fostered children and done (private) adoption (if I remember correctly). They are currently expecting a miracle baby after years of TTC! I feel they would be great to speak with on those two topics!

  3. It is so incredible to see how many different ways you can adopt. Its so amazing and it really opens my eyes of how many children need homes. Thank you for sharing 💕

  4. Hey! I wanted to know what kind of editing packaging do you use for your videos? I have to make a short movie about my trip in Mongolia and i'm very impressed by the quality of your videos! Love from France💛

  5. My cousin fosters. She has a sibling pair right now. Its been a tough transition for her biological children as well. After 4 months everyone is finally getting acclimated but the children are prob going to be going home by christmas (which is wonderful). I think adoprion of another child in china would be good bc you already are familiar w the process and huxley could have a sibling who looks like him and he can relate to. Also statistically girls are still put up for adoption more then boys in China so you may have an easier time matching with a child there. Have you ever considered India?

  6. As much as I would love a newborn and not have to go through another pregnancy i feel like the newborns up for adoption should be saved for the mommas who struggle with infertility and can't have the newborn experience on their own. Not judging just adding in my thoughts and a different perception. Good luck we just had our 4th baby in August and our oldest is 5 and we hope to add baby #5 in a couple years since I've had back to back pregnancies and it gets more challenging each time.

  7. Reach out to me about foster-to-adopt anytime, Myka! We initially looked into matched domestic adoption out of the foster care system, but we really felt a call to meet the need in our community, and that need was in fostering. We would like to adopt some day when the option becomes available, but we didn’t feel a sense of urgency or immediacy about it. We’re trusting that God will open up the right doors at the right time, and we’re loving the kids who come through our home no matter how short or long their stay. I don’t think any training really adequately prepares you for how mentally taxing and draining foster care can be, but I’d still joyfully do it all over again and make the same decision. We took our first placement of three siblings in July (one has since been reunified with biological family), and it has challenged me, tested my boundaries, exhausted me, and grown me in so many ways. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I do think you have to be cautious with your boundaries and realistic with what your family is prepared to handle, but even having those hard no’s still leaves a lot of room open for kids in need of homes. I definitely don’t think foster care is for everyone and I never thought we’d be doing it until about a year ago, but just keep praying about what God wants your family to do, and I’m sure you’ll get all the answers you need. ❤️ Also, we did disrupt age order, so I’d be happy to share our experience with that if you have questions.

  8. I really appreciate this video. I like that you mention the fear of sexual abuse. This scares me. I also understand (not as well as you, since I haven't adopted but I've considered it) the guilt of being in a space where you need to adopt a child that is healthy. These two things are stopping me.

  9. I would suggest watching the crazy middles it is a YouTube channel with a big family that did the foster to adopt program

  10. There are a ton of beautiful kids in Africa, why not there?..Wherever you choose, that will be one very happy child💖

  11. Myka, thank you so much for posting this. My husband and I have been together since we were 13 and we have always talked about adoption. Fast-forward 15 years and 2 biological kids later, we are finally at the point of considering our options. It is so hard to find videos that compare all of the different adoption routes. I would love to hear more about your process of deciding which way to go. I'd also love to hear about any other resources that you've found helpful. It is so hard to know where to start.

  12. you should check out the Crazy Middles and Crazy Pieces channel!! they are huuuuge families of adopted children! the crazy middles have 20 children, 18 of them are adopted!!

  13. One other issue there may be with the foster to adopt program, and I be honest I'm not completely sure if it's true, is that I don't think your supposed to allow that child's image on any social media. Again I am not completely sure it's true but I have heard it on other YouTubers channels. Whatever your family decides is wonderful and very touching. I really admire you and your family's warm loving hearts. I'm very excited for all of you and who your new child may someday be.

  14. We did foster to adopt threw our county. We took in 3 infants at separate times and adopted all 3! The first two are girls and are half sisters. That is how we were chosen to take the 2nd one in, to keep siblings together. Its not an easy journey but we would do it all over again. The 2nd one was the hardest for us. I would take them all in if I could. We are in MN and 8 is the limit for children in the home under 18 and we are at 8 children. Therefor we can not continue to foster or adopted. Good luck to you in your decision on which adoption route to take.

  15. We adopted brothers at the age of 1&2. It was a difficult time. We fostered them for their entire lives before we adopted. They are amazing. Yes, the goal is reunification and we supported that but in this case it wasn’t possible. Absolutely tell your caseworker your goal and they can try to make a match to fit your family.

  16. I love the idea of adopting from China. My only problem is the caregiver to child ratio. When my mom was looking to adopt, she opted out of China because the ratio was one caregiver for ten kids. I don't know if it's the same because that was over 20 years ago. When I adopt, that is one factor I am going to look at for sure!

  17. MYKA, that top is SO BEAUTIFUL! As a mom to FOUR crazy boys, including identical twins, I love that you're open to adopting a boy <3. It makes me tear up listening to you talk about being the family to a boy in need!

  18. MYKA, you're making me want to adopt so hard right now! I already have four boys and my husband got a vasectomy but you have me in tears over here wanting to save an older little boy!

  19. We are waiting till we move but we really want to adopt. Your videos are full of information and so inspiring

  20. Our first foster placement was with us for 8 months. We picked him up at the hospital. The day he was ordered to go back to his bio mom we received a baby girl, who we ended up adopting. It was totally God, but nonetheless very difficult. We are in the process of adopting, already had have our license to adopt. We want to adopt a new born. I get what you are saying about all the choices. What I/we are struggling with is the financial part of it. Feels like to us that if you have a lot of money then you can adopt. Infertility is hard enough without feeling that we still cannot have a family because a lack of extra money.

  21. Oh wow I feel this so deeply! I feel soooo strongly called to foster to adopt right now, even though I always said I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But like you said, it’s a matter of calling versus wanting. I pray you follow your heart and everything works out for you 🙏🏼

  22. We have fostered for 18 mths, sent a boy home after 14 months and have had a girl 17 months who we are adopting! Have 4 bio kids and have been so strict about ages bc believe strongly in our birth order and won't break it, no matter how many times we are asked! Praying God will give you direction Proverbs 3:5-6

  23. We are currently in the domestic adoption process. We live in Texas by an orphanage so we are going through them. We will have a younger sibling group placed in our home from them. We are adopting through their Texas waiting children..which means parents rights have already been terminated so they are looking for our match while we go through all of our classes! We are so happy to extend our family of 5 to only God knows how big!!!

  24. Well myka, another thing you could think about is since China the age only goes to 13 that’s less time for a child to be adopted than a child in America. While I support any adoption I think I would choose the Chinese adoption because they have a shorter timespan to be adopted and a lot of people who adopt from China tend to go for the younger children which makes the older children have a greater disadvantage. Can’t wait to see what you decide on!

  25. I have 5 children, 2 birth and 3 adopted
    I'm from the UK so things are a little different, all my adopted children as siblings, we first adopted my 3-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter 2 years ago, then last year we got told that their brother was up for adoption aged 5 and would be put in a list called "kids who wait"
    At that point i said."no he won't, we want him"!!!!!
    4 months later he moved in, just before his 6th birthday, he has been with us for.a year.
    I hate the term, "children who wait" why should they wait as there over 5?
    A child is a child and they all deserve love.
    I adore you and your family, and i like to watch your life journey
    We to home educate
    I also have autistic children and not good speakers, its nice to feel like we ain't alone
    Xx

  26. I think another kid from China would give Huxley a special buddy.😊 Also a new born baby from a domestic abortion would be great and supper cute. Praying for you guys and the kid you’ll be united with when the time is right. 😍🙏🏻😍

  27. We were a foster family for several years, we didn't go into it expecting to adopt, we just want to help give love and support to broken families. Well we fell in love with a little boy, and decided to adopt him, the hardest part of going through that process is never knowing what well happen next, but it is a beautiful process

  28. This is a sweet and loving video but I urge you to look more into the domestic adoption via foster care. That so-called stipend is small and the support is there but can be tough to get to when you're trying to figure out how to be an adult in a world that never seemed to want you there. Perhaps try speaking with adults that have aged out? There's nothing wrong with adopting ANY child in need from anywhere BUT there could be a child just down the road that's struggling and just wants to know someone loves him/her. 😊 Great video

  29. I was a private adoption ,my parents are amazing ,I love youre family,,,,,,,!!!!!! I love huxley and all youre kids , im curious of how you came up with their names? When my parents got me they lhey where thinking my name should be ZINFENDEL, but they went with Sylvia which means MAIDAIN of the Forest!!! Much love to your whole family!! Looking so forward to more videos from you !!!!!! I want to start a channel too, Much love to you!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌷🌷🌷💕💕💕👠🐾😍☕️📸👍

  30. Did Foster care first before adopting all my kids from China. We are paperchasing for our 4th adoption from China, our 6th child. Foster care in our area, PA, we were called for lots of babies. We wanted ages 2 to 7 years old. Younger then our big boys at that time. Most kids in our area are babies or kids over 10, medical needs, siblings and African American kids. Foster care is a great option, but not the best option for families with sensitive kids or for those who find it hard to let go and its very involved and requires lots of time and flexability, I think its important to look at your family size currently and China as an example which never used to restrict family size, so if you adopt a sibling pair from The USA say, then got pregnant, if you ever wanted to adopt from China again, you may be ineligible as China now only permits so many minor aged kids in the family, I think like 6. The easiest way to decide which route is for you is to ask yourself how big of a family you think you may want and then look at how you think you would like to build your family and then go the route that leaves as many other options left over still, should you want to adopt in the future again. So in our case we have today 2 bio adult kids, did foster care, then went to China and will do up to 5 adoptions from there and willl likely consider a second chance adoption from kids from a disrupted adoption or foster care to finish off building our family. We figure we could have a family up to 10 kids so we could stay within a 12 passenger sized van and no bigger. But more realistically, I think 7 kids may be our limit, maybe 8, as once our 20 and 22 year old go out on their own we would be left with the maximum amount of kids that still fit in a standard 7 or 8 passenger minivan so we dont need 2 big vans should one break down or multiple cars to fit our family. While its great to be drawn to a certain option, I wish I had thought more about the parent and family requirements of certain countries more then I did. Like I wanted to someday consider India but we should have gone there first as their family size rule is about 4 kids. Columbia has tons of sibling groups but the stay in country is longer. My opinion is this, foster care is best to start off with or do after International Adoption. Because we are USA citizens, this option will be available longer then say an International program that could close or change requirements ending that option for good. Domestic adoption also will be available as an option longer too. Also, think too about your current family and energy levels, what can you handle? Foster care kids may have relatives they need to stay in contact with and it is great for the kids, but then you end up doing visitations. We were told once a week, and then we found us driving to do visitation 2-3 times a week. Not easy to do with other kids, our homeschooling, etc. We eventually got a state driver to pick our foster son up for some of his visits, where his Mom and Dad wouldnt show up at times. Its was heartbreaking not being with him for those visits, but it just wasnt easy to manage our household and that amount of visitation they wanted for him and it made it worse that he didnt want to go anyways. So it really made China adoption seem more easier for us, though we keep in touch majorly with our childrens wonderful foster parents in China, which is wonderful for them. And longterm, yes visits to meet up with foster parents will be warranted in the future, but not every week, all the time. 😮 Also, adopting kids older then the kids currently in your home can work, but it is a huge concern of their past history. So its important to weigh that risk carefully. We adopted the last kids out of birth order, but not far from each others age and love China for our family as our last 3 kids we preidentified, only first child was referred to us. We found its worked out great for us to preidentify and this helped tremendously in ensuring all the kids would fit well with each other based on personalities. But wow, lots to hink about but I am sure whatever you decide will be perfect, God Bless.

  31. I would not recommend the foster to adopt because of your line of work. They do not allow you to share pictures or videos of the child until you have adopted the child. Love your videos…

  32. Myka.. this really touched me, as do most of your vids. The idea of these young boys going through all of this.. this world is just so crazy. I pray to God to be in the position to do a foster to adopt at some point and that he or she will be a loving sibling to my son. THank u for sharing what you do and God bless u guys so much

  33. You should adopt a teen cause Im kinda anxious that they don't really get adopted and I cry cause of that

  34. I would be careful with adopting an older boy (depending on how old you're aiming for), mainly because you have young girls in the house and that could potentially open a whole other can of worms like you talked about. It, of course, all depends on the kiddo and their past but it'd be something to be cautious about with your little ones. Can't wait to watch this new journey unfold for you guys!

  35. My family has lots of adoptions in many different ways and my grandmother was also an international adoption social worker in the 80’s. My mother was adopted and knows her birth mother pretty well. I have cousins that were adopted in the 70’s or 80’s from Korea and have done so well for themselves, and have beautiful families of their own. Their mother (my great-aunt) was told early on she was infertile but later got pregnant then adopted to have a siblings for that child then repeated that same scenario about 8 years later when she had her other biological child and adopted her second.

  36. Check out our safe haven for abandoned and abused babies in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
    Www.zanethemba.org 💖💖💖

  37. Why, yes, I am folding laundry. How did you know? Thanks for the breakdown! It's good to know for someone who doesn't know where to start.

  38. I think you should go with your heart! Personally I like the newborn idea the most. I think you should do a different adoption place. But honestly if you want to do the older boy one, I think you should wait (the sexual abuse problem is so true) I think you should do that one when your kiddos are older. Maybe you will be even able to focus on this kids even more? And be able to handle the heartbreak better if they have to go home to real mom. I don’t know just an idea.

  39. my real name is derrika i think yoou should do another international adoption kaoria and india get 2 kids from korina or india or some where else may be us forster to adopt is not for you you will get to much in love and the rest of thee family and be upset when there leave

  40. I don't have much to say on adoption in general because I don't know much about it, but I will say this about Korean/Chinese:

    Currently I'm learning Korean. It's one of the easiest Asian languages to learn due to its super logical alphabet system. If you were to adopt from Korea and learn Korean for your child, I've also heard that once you learn Korean, Japanese/Chinese come easier due to similar sentence structures and origins.

    I don't know much about Chinese culture but Korean culture is really interesting to me.

    Anyways, good luck with everything going forward, and thank you for reading my comment! (내 댓글을 읽어드려서 감사합니다! … if I got the grammar right!)

  41. As a pre-adoptive foster parent I understand how difficult the road can be to travel but even within the foster system there is more than one option. There are children waiting to be adopted that have already gone through the process of TPR ( Termination of parental rights). These children may have siblings they are required to see, some judges even offer terminated parents visitation post adoption. Some however, are closed adoptions. Having the right team and knowledgeable family resource worker within the system is so important in navigating the journey. I've had my little girl since she was just under 2. She turned 5 this year and unfortunately our adoption journey is far from over. Faith keeps me going as well as the love I have for her. I started this journey with the intension of fostering only, but this little girl, my very first placement, captured my heart.

  42. You and your family are so sweet I love your videos! So I have an uncle who they went through the foster to adopt. It was an emotional process because like you mentioned you have to go to the court hearings and it’s not set in stone so that’s def. the hard part. But long story short my uncle did foster to adopt 2 kids that he did lose (I don’t know if that’s the correct term). Both of the kids did go back to their families. Which I know was hard for my uncle because he got so attached to the young child and the worst part was that the child’s original mom had kept the child neglected so it was heart breaking to know that she may not have been going back to the best environment but he had to trust the system. Needless to say my uncle was able through the foster to adopt process, to adopt three kids. My aunt and uncle were so happy, especially because for years they suffered infertility issues. Today they are one big happy family! 🙂 I wishes you and your family the best!!! Hugs from Chicago!!

  43. I love how good a heart people like you have. My mum adopted my cousin after his father was killed and his mother didn’t have the money to look after him. Even though it was close family that we adopted it really made me want to adopt in the future. And I totally get you with wanting to adopt children that are usually not picked and more difficult because your giving them a second chance!

  44. We adopted through a lawyer that works with Marshallese families (from the Marshall Islands) that live mainly in Arkansas. It was an awesome experience. You do have to decide what feels right to you. Through this process we decided what gender we wanted and for us we were chosen right away and the birth mom was 13 weeks along. It was the right decision for us. If you want more information let me know. Prayers for you and your family!

  45. Have a friend who did the foster adopt and she was heartbroken also when she did not get to keep the child

  46. I'm just so thrilled that you will be adopting again. My husband and I just started the adoption process again about a month or so ago. We will be adopting from Liberia and we're just so excited! I can't wait to hear what you decide to do.

  47. A friend of mine did the foster to adopt program and they had a little boy for a long time and got their hearts broken whenever he was reunited, but now they have a 4 year old little boy that's all theirs!!

  48. There’s an older boy in China who I think would love to have a family!! He’s in most of the videos we got of our daughter (before we had her), he was her foster brother! I REALLY want to see him find his home!! ❤️

  49. We are foster parent in Ohio, we are also open to adoption. We try to keep the birth order even when we foster. However, fostering is really hard because is like loosing your child when they go back home. In Ohio the longest the kid can stay in foster is 18 months ( I think maybe 24😬) and they are open for adoption! True about the boys there are always so many boys available.

  50. Adopting through the state is technically adopting through foster care, those children have just already been legally freed for adoption meaning they and their parents have already been through the system and their parents didn't work their plan so they had their rights terminated.

  51. I think it’d be awesome for your family to adopt an older boy! You are such a nice family and that lucky boy could even help guide your children! Best of luck!

  52. Myka you crying literally made me cry. Your heart is so pure. I know you’d be doing the same thing even if YouTube wasn’t around.

  53. I also love where you heart and head is at. Everyone wants to adopt a newborn and you are the person to adopt that sweet soul that was once a baby and grew up some.

  54. Hey Myka,
    excuse my English isnt that good but I‘ll try my best! My little sister got adopted. She came to us when she was 6 years old. We started the adoption process when she was 4. It was a international adoption from Moldowa to Germany. There were just about the same questions you are having. I just can tell you we had a rough time. School started right away(no homeschooling in gernany). So at first it was tough overcome the language barrier. Also a lot if orphanage behavior like hiding and dont share toys (cause dhe never had them) was getting her tough school days and not anlot of friends in school. Right now, 6 years after adopting.. She now is 10 and still has a rough time in school, learning and keep up with her sometines uncontrolable feelings. She is not autistic or special needed but she grew up in an orphange without a lot. What I want to say its always a consideration and take a good look at the orphange. Its their early choldhood spend there and they wont forget.. But she is the smileiest kindest seeetest little girl and we wont miss her 4 the world!

  55. Myka,genuine emotions are to be embraced.
    Thanks for the details on what to expect from different programs. I never knew about the international programs nor the age that children have to leave the programs. I too would want to choose a newborn,then again,there are so many small children that need a steady stream of love.
    Have you had information of programs from other countries such as Africa, European countries etc?
    Thanks for sharing.

  56. okay so you need to get your facts straight cause i know everything you need to know everything about foster care in the us i am a foster kid. first when you are out of the system (18) you can still be part of the system you would get 700 dollars a month they pay for your college tuition they will buy you a new computer they do a lot for you and you also get free insurance till you 21. just wanted to tell you✌🏽

  57. Id adopt from China if it was me considering there would be a sibling in the house that looks more like Hux. Someday Hux is going to talk and be more aware of the world and Id imagine it'd be nice for him to not be the odd one out. Which obviously, you don't make him feel that way but being physically different from you and the kids will dawn on him one day and I know it'd be nice to have another child with some similar characteristics and background. He is also non verbal which leads me to think maybe fostering to adopt an older child is a bad idea.

    My issue with the foster to adopt is A) Often the children are given back to parents who messed up bad enough to lose them to begin with B) If the child was returned and later harmed of killed by said "parents" I am not sure I could live with that C) Giving the kids back knowing that the parents haven't changed. D) with older kids, what damage has been dont to their mental state (mental illness, health, safety for that child as well as my family)

    I've witnessed it first hand and its devastating. I had a friend in school named Courtney and she was being horribly abused. State took her away and placed her with our friends parents and for 2 years we were all super happy. She was soon to be adopted by the family and then all of a sudden last minute the parents won her back. They dragged her kicking and screaming out of class and we never saw her again. She was on the news 2 weeks later. Her parents brutally raped and murdered her for getting them in trouble with CPS. All we could do is sit back and watch all of it unfold. Her foster parents were devastated. This was 20 years ago and those poor people never got over it. I think I heard the Dad killed himself over the guilt of it recently…all these years later. My friend Danny was a similar situation. She was taken into foster care by a lady who worked at our school along with her brother when they were 3 and 4 respectively. Mother took her back but not the brother. Turns out it was because the bf had a thing for kids. She was molested for years until when we were 16 she won emancipation. All the adults in our circle of friends hired her and paid her a living wage so she could win that. Its so so heartbreaking when they go back and it doesn't always turn out well. I think when I was in school for law enforcement we were told, for our state, its something like 80% will continue to be abused and up to 35-45% will die after being returned. Many are sexually abused.

    Myka….seriously you don't want an abused male that's been stewing in foster care. My husband can tell you first hand many have nasty tempers. He spent years learning to control himself because of his mom. And that's after having a loving grandmother. These kids DO need to be adopted and loved but not by a woman with 4 small kids and daughters to boot. I've worked with to many that are set up for failure by being put in a home with parents not equipped for the toll it will take, and then the foster parents feel guilty and its a vicious cycle. Whatever problems you have with Hux right now will be the least of your worries if you either get the wrong kid, or the right kid is returned to the wrong parents. This is why I haven't gone this route. My Mom works with kids like this for a living and is considering adopting because her kids are grown and she's trained to handle whatever comes her way because of work. I think of the 18 boys on her home that were sexually abused 17 are there because they molested another child. The other one is there for killing his foster families dog. Id really think this one through and if your heart is really set on this route, wait until your family is older. At the very least I would wait until Hux is verbal.

    Just my 2 cents based on my own experience. I know many of the foster to adopt adoptions go well and the kids do well and aren't a problem. But also many don't which has been my experience. More families should adopt this way but I am not sure about families with small kids and a small non verbal child especially. I guess it just seems like a huge risk. Older kids are so hard because they remember everything. They remember foster care and have time to become angry and bitter. Hux probably wont even remember China. If you adopt there again, that child probably wont either as you mentioned not messing up the age order of the kids so the child will be pretty young. None of the foster kids who I know adopted or aged out, ever really found a way to make themselves feel whole. Loving families or not they all have lifelong mental struggles. At least the older ones that is. Little bitty ones tend to not remember. If you go that route I would really look into talking to some older children who have aged out of the system and find out their experience with whatever agency you plan to adopt from. See how kids in the area tend to fare after adoption. Not all areas have the same success rate. I went to school for Law Enforcement and nursing because I wanted to do forensic nursing and the way the whole foster to adopt situation was looked at was very different than from that of a social worker. Just something to consider. Be very selective. Your criteria is pretty lax as far as this route goes. Make sure you get all the kids background information and really understand what that means. Don't get blindsided by doing the right thing for the kids. It has to be right for everyone involved…you, your kids, Hux especially and for the child your adopting. The right family for older kids is the difference between a somewhat normal life and moving on and a host of other issues.

  58. Everyone wants the cute, adorable baby, however the older kids want a family and need love as well, they truly get left out, with God, Faith, Love and Patience all will adjust. The poor older kids, so sad, to get older NOT ADOPTABLE and to NOT end up with a family to love him, or he to love a family, go with an older boy.

  59. I was actually in foster care. I can tell you it’s HARD to keep the child, especially if the bio parents want anything to do with the child. The way the foster system works in the US is literally horrible. The process is insane. They have to take every measure possible to insure that the only option for the child is them being adopted. This includes stripping the rights of the biological parents. If ANY family comes into the picture wanting the child, and the child isn’t able to advocate for themself, the family will almost always get the child.

    I wanted my foster parents to adopt me, and that’s what they wanted as well (they weren’t even foster parents when they took me in. I was friends with their daughter, I had only met them once, and for some amazing reason they felt that god wanted them to take me in. As soon as they had me they were willing to go through whatever it took to adopt me.). It took nearly 2 years for me to even get out of foster care. I only got out bc my bio uncle and aunt came back into my life and wanted to adopt me. I was okay with that (huge mistake and long story), so they had full custody in less than a month bc they were biological family. I loved my foster parents to pieces.. and I still love them bc they’ve been there for me anytime I needed them. About a month before my uncle and aunt came into the picture, they were just then starting to talk about stripping my bio mom’s rights… which is a long process in itself.

    Now, I’m not telling you this to discourage you bc my foster parents made a HUGE impact in my life. They helped me grieve my father’s death. They helped me get back on track with school (I was starting freshman year), and as a result I started taking honors and AP classes. Even after I moved in with my uncle and some crazy stuff went down with that, they were 100% willing to have me back. It’s hard, and it’s a system that certainly needs fixed. I’m happy that I was 14 when I went in bc I had a lot more of a say in what I wanted. With that being said, it still took a long time to even get close to them adopting me (even though the judge knew that’s what I wanted).

    Even if you won’t get custody, you can still be that source of love and support that they need. You can still let them know you’ll be there no matter what happens. It’s a hard system to be in. Also, my college was fully paid for by HOPE Foster bc I was in foster care. I feel like a lot of children in foster care don’t know that they actually will have a shot at a successful life and that they can afford to go to college and have a career. I didn’t know that I received HOPE Foster until my college called me about picking up my refund checks (I had other scholarships and grants).

    The college thing doesn’t really matter I guess for the information you’re looking for, but it is really nice. I don’t know the full details about it, but if that matters and interests you then it’s something to research and look into.

    I don’t discourage any decision you chose, but I would like to say there’s a lot of kids already in the US that need homes. Obviously do what’s right for your family and follow your heart, but it’s something to keep in mind. You might end up changing someone’s life even if you don’t get to keep them. I know my foster family did. I can never thank them enough for what they did for me. ❤️

    If you ever want more information then feel free to reach out! My story and childhood was a bit crazy, but I’m willing to share. 🙂 I’m not sure if you’re still considering adoption now that your pregnant. Either way, congratulations 🎉

  60. Hi myka! Loved your video! My hubby and i are looking into adoption too! Which programs/agencies are best for korean and china adoptions?

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